I've always been afraid of change. I've learned to embrace the present and love life for what it is now, in this moment. I'm scared of losing the present. I'm scared of regretting having wasted it away. Change scares me - I feel every time things change, life takes something of value away from me. A piece of my life is lost and things fall apart.
But for some reason, these days, I'm looking for something new. Life is good the way it is now, and I'm happy. But still, something deep inside is asking for change: a new beginning. Some excitement, something new to look forward to. But I'm so afraid of losing what I have now that I end up burying these thoughts deeper and deeper inside me. Is it wrong to want something new?
I think what would really help is a new surrounding. Something different around me. New things to look at. Something to explore. I'm tired of the same four walls around me all the time. New scenery would be nice. I want to travel, go somewhere I haven't gone before. See new things and do things I haven't done before. I want to go somewhere far away, somewhere I can sit under the sky and count the stars.
If only.
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