Who had thee deceived so often as thyself?

And what looked like an open door from where I stood in the darkness turned out to be a false ray of hope. Now that initial darkness seems darker than before. But even in that darkness, a glimmer of hope lives - and everyday, I deceive myself into believing that glimmer is real and I hope. One day that hope will take me somewhere. I know it will.

P.S. I asked God to lead me in the right direction - he helped me choose which road to take. I have faith that it is the right one, and that he has a plan for me. 

Decisions, Decisions

From where I stand right now, I see two paths ahead. I look down the easier path, tempted to run towards it, but when I get there all I see is one long road paved with regrets leading to closed doors. I look towards the other path, and I see a path full of obstacles and struggles, but I also see opportunities and open doors. I see a path paved with hope. I am struggling to choose between hopeful uncertainty and hopeless certainty even when I already know which road I should walk towards.

Oh God, lead me in the right direction.

Sometimes you have to be brave enough to break your own heart.

Graduating

In the last few months, the majority of the people I've met have been congratulating me for my upcoming graduation. The congratulation always follows, "so, what are you planning on doing with your degree in biology?". And all these last few months, I have looked up at those people with uncertainty filled in my heart, and I have wondered why I did not pick something more practical - in other words, why didn't I become a business major where I could land myself in a nice job post-graduation? But I'm tired of the uncertainty that I have carried with me over the last few years. I am graduating with a degree in biology because I want to. And the next time someone asks me what I'm planning on doing with my degree in biology, I'm going to tell them: I plan on carrying it with me, as I do everything else that matters.