Little Things (Continued)

51. Realizing it's Friday.
52. Flipping to a new month on your calendar.
53. When a tight hug says it all.
54. Crossing something off your to-do list.
55. Being in a good mood just because.
56. Moonlight.
57. Taking off high heels after a long day.
58. Coming home after some time away.
59. Getting a gift without an occasion.
60. Wearing new clothes.
61. Being called beautiful.
62. Waking up and remembering your dream.
63. A baby's smile.
64. Tearing out a piece of perforated paper perfectly.
65. Finding something you lost.
66. City lights at night.
67. Dressing up for winter.
68. Listening to your grandparents tell stories.
69. The moment when the person you have been waiting for walks through the gates at the airport.
70. Tears of joy.
71. Making birthdays special for someone you love.
72. Completing a task before the microwave beeps.
73. Getting eyeliner on right the first time.
74. Holding your hands up in prayer.
75. Singing without caring how you sound.
76. Sappy lyrics.
77. Waking up and not being tired.
78. The color teal.
79. Hearing someone whistle.
80. Collapsing on your bed after a long day.
81. Fortune cookies that relate all too well to life.
82. Contagious laughter.
83. Doing well on an exam you thought you failed.
84. A starlit night.
85. Birthday cake.
86. Scented candles.
87. Dresses with pockets.
88. Accents.
89. Parking your car at the same time the song ends.
90. New shoes.
91. Dancing in the rain.
92. Colored paper.
93. Watching the people you love enjoy a meal you made for them.
94. Orange juice.
95. The ocean.
96. Meaningful glances.
97. A simple thank you.
98. When the song you were hoping for randomly starts playing while your Ipod is on shuffle.
99. Reading old blog posts and wondering what the hell you were thinking when you wrote that.
100. Going to bed with a smile on your face.

Little Things

Waiting for the big moments in life to bring you happiness involves a whole lot of waiting. Because of that, I have decided to recount the little things in life that make me happy. When I think about it, there are a lot of thinks that make me happy and manage to bring a smile on my face. I want to celebrate those little things.

1. Laughter.
2. Old photos.
3. Chocolate. In any shape or form. 
4. Falling asleep to the sound of rain.
5. Memorable time spent with the family.
6. Dancing like no one is watching.
7. A clean house.
8. Homemade cookies right out of the oven.
9. Handwritten letters.
10. Hot shower after a long day. 
11. Waking up before your alarm goes off. 
12. Dimples. 
13. People with smiles that reach their eyes.
14. The smell of a new book. 
15. Driving with your windows down, music up and your hair blowing in the wind.
16. Lazy weekends. 
17. Meals with your favorite foods and your favorite people. 
18. Ink pens.
19. Strawberries.
20. Spontaneous adventures.
21. When you get the perfect coat of nail polish on the first time.
22. Wearing your pajamas all day.
23. Marathon of your favorite show.
24. A full tank of gas.
25. When someone holds a door open for you.
26. Compliments from strangers.
27. The first time someone says your name. 
28. Strangers that care enough to want to learn to pronounce your name correctly.
29. Writing on the first page of a notebook.
30. The cold side of a pillow.
31. Buying new clothes.
32. Re-reading old conversations. 
33. Giggling.
34. Finally remembering the name of the song that has been stuck in your head.
35. The perfect parking spot. 
36. Bringing a smile on someone's face.
37. When someone wants to know about your day.
38. Having exact change. 
39. Going to the register and finding out your item costs even less than you originally thought. 
40. Weddings.
41. The sound of bangles. 
42. Beautiful skies.
43. Waking up and realizing it was just a dream.
44. The feeling of gratitude when a prayer is finally heard. 
45. Seeing someone you love after a very long time. 
46. The look on people's faces when they are genuinely happy to see you.
47. The look on the groom's face as the bride walks towards him on their big day.
48. Chocolate chip cookies.
49. Sharpened pencils.
50. Doodling.

And despite it all, even if I had to go back and choose again, I would still choose you. 

Lost in Downtown

I got lost driving by myself in downtown at night today. I went around in circles, clueless to where I was going. All I saw were dark, empty one-way streets. Even if I knew where I was supposed to go, I couldn't go there since the roads were all one-way. I kept going and going and going knowing God would eventually feel sorry for me and help guide (frantically praying and begging at the same time not to mention), but eventually (with God's mercy), I found my way back home. I knew that I just had to spend a painful ten minutes in desperation and after that it would all be over. He would help me get where I needed to be. And as that realization struck, I could not help but notice how similar this situation was to my life right now. But what I learned today was that despite all the uncertainty coupled with desperation that I feel surrounded with right now, I will eventually find my way to the place God has destined for me. It's there. I know it is. I just have to spend some time in pain, some time feeling unsure of myself ... because then, and only then, will I be able to sure of what that place is where I want to be. Everything happens for a reason. All you need to do is to learn to rise above it, understand the reason for that lesson, and take those experiences with you. Learn that only in the darkest nights, are the stars glimmering in the sky most visible. That darkness is a test. It is meant to see how much faith you have in yourself, in those you love, and above all, in God.

Persevere.

Who had thee deceived so often as thyself?

And what looked like an open door from where I stood in the darkness turned out to be a false ray of hope. Now that initial darkness seems darker than before. But even in that darkness, a glimmer of hope lives - and everyday, I deceive myself into believing that glimmer is real and I hope. One day that hope will take me somewhere. I know it will.

P.S. I asked God to lead me in the right direction - he helped me choose which road to take. I have faith that it is the right one, and that he has a plan for me. 

Decisions, Decisions

From where I stand right now, I see two paths ahead. I look down the easier path, tempted to run towards it, but when I get there all I see is one long road paved with regrets leading to closed doors. I look towards the other path, and I see a path full of obstacles and struggles, but I also see opportunities and open doors. I see a path paved with hope. I am struggling to choose between hopeful uncertainty and hopeless certainty even when I already know which road I should walk towards.

Oh God, lead me in the right direction.

Sometimes you have to be brave enough to break your own heart.

Graduating

In the last few months, the majority of the people I've met have been congratulating me for my upcoming graduation. The congratulation always follows, "so, what are you planning on doing with your degree in biology?". And all these last few months, I have looked up at those people with uncertainty filled in my heart, and I have wondered why I did not pick something more practical - in other words, why didn't I become a business major where I could land myself in a nice job post-graduation? But I'm tired of the uncertainty that I have carried with me over the last few years. I am graduating with a degree in biology because I want to. And the next time someone asks me what I'm planning on doing with my degree in biology, I'm going to tell them: I plan on carrying it with me, as I do everything else that matters.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.