Everywhere

You’re the sunshine on a dreary day
The sparkling light in the sun’s rays
You’re the blooming flower in spring
The one that makes me want to sing
You’re the one star in the dark sky
The one that I look at and sigh
You’re the sound of rain falling down
I want to jump into you and drown
You’re the first snowfall of the season
You make me smile for no reason
You’re the silence in the crowd
The one song that I sing aloud
You’re my prayer before I fall asleep
You’re in the tears that I weep
You’re the shadow that I cast
You’re in the memories that will last
You’re the silvery moonlight I love
That makes me look at the sky above
You’re the hope that keeps me going
The experiences from which I keep growing
You’re a mystery, you’re the unknown
The secret inside my heart that can’t be shown

Crush

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You've got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back the way I do?
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away


David Archuleta

We Belong Together

When you walk by in all your glory
All I want to do is smile and say hi
But you don’t even look up at me
I stand at a distance and wonder why

I see you having a good time with your friends
Laughing and smiling, messing around
I can’t stop looking at you
I stand at a distance and wonder why

At night, when I’m about to fall asleep
I look up at the shining moon
Your face flashing before my eyes
I stand at a distance and wonder why

Sitting in class, staring at my notes
All I can do is think of your hair
Falling on your face, your glorious smile
I stand at a distance and wonder why

In my dreams, I see you standing next to me
Hand in hand, as though you’re my destiny
Why can’t you see that we’re meant to be
Standing at a distance, I wonder why

What value will there be in life, if we are not together?

Tom Lefroy asks Jane Austen, in Becoming Jane, inspiring many hearts to go awww.

I watched Becoming Jane about week or two ago, and being a passionate Pride and Prejudice fan, I fell in love with the movie. It so beautifully captured the true essence of romance found in Jane Austen's novels.

Tom Lefroy's character is stunning- he is romantic, charming, elegant, and passionate, all at the same time. The movie truly contains heart-melting scenes that lift you off your feet. Tom Lefroy is one fine gentleman, truly inspired from Mr. Darcy, in Pride and Prejudice.

Jane Austen's life, although it may not be historically correct, sets a spectacular mood for a romantic, historical fiction love story. The dialogues, I think, were the most inspiring, harboring the essence of wit, humor, and charm, most seen in Austen's characters.

However, the end of the movie, brilliantly pulls the audience out of that heart-warming romance and into reality, as the two lovers decide to part, accepting that the dream-like life that they are seeking isn't practical and sacrificing their love for others.

The movie leaves you wondering if Mr. Wisely's words, "sometimes affection is a shy flower, that takes time to blossom" are true. Then I remember Tom Lefroy's promise that his heart and soul are Jane's, and the world seems beautiful and promising, once again.

Passion for Photography

Beauty lies all around us, we just have to open our eyes and find it. Here is my attempt to search for beauty around me.

The Meaning of Life

For those who claim life is monotonous and boring, or for those that think that all life has to offer is sorrow and grief, do they think that death will give them a way out? A solution to end it all? Because personally, I don't think it does. Death simply ceases existence on Earth, it does not erase events and actions that were once a part of your life.

Life is always worth living for, sometimes what we are living for, is what's not worth it. And we don't realize that soon enough. Sometimes people spend half their lives in search of something that's not meant for them, seeking something they already have, or wanting something they don't need. I think walking around with a meaningless life is the worst punishment you can give yourself. We all have to find a way to give our life meaning, to devote our lives to something or someone that will make it worthwhile, that will give it direction, purpose, and meaning.

Getting what you want is not solace, realizing and understanding why you don't have what you want is true solace.

In Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom writes:

"As you grow old, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, its also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."
- Morrie, Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom pg. 118

Ever since I read the book many years ago, his words have stuck with me. We are all so used to saying that life is short, now is the time to live, and we always complain about how time ran too ahead of us and we had no choice but to follow. But what we forget in the process is that we're not just losing time or moving steadily towards the end of it all, we are, in fact, growing. The more time we spend growing, the more we understand our true purpose in life, the meaning of life, and the world around us.

You do not simply lose your youth as the years go by, you gain wisdom. You learn to live life to its full extent, to cherish it, to want what you have, and to keep it safe. I read somewhere that success is primarily getting what you want, but happiness is wanting what you have. We are so obsessed with getting the things that we want, but when we finally get them, we forget how much they meant to us in the first place. Sort of like life, when you have it, you don't know what you want to do with it, and when you see it slowly escaping your hold, you realize all that you wanted but never tried to get from life.

The Question of Marriage

I wrote this post a week or two ago, and never got around to publishing it. Better late than never though:

I was actually watching the news, which is usually something I never do (I prefer the internet), but they were showing the whole balloon boy fiasco and I was curious. Anyways, I caught that whole bit about the Louisiana justice who denied the interracial couple a marriage license. I thought it was outrageous. I don't think his argument makes sense at all, 'its hard on the kids'? If he's worried so much about the kids, why doesn't he start working with those couples who are getting divorced left and right without thinking twice of their kids futures, and letting their families fall apart for insignificant reasons? If he's really worried about the kids, why doesn't he prevent those same race couples who shouldn't be having kids in the first place from producing? If he really does care about the future of unborn kids, he should go talk to those women who are aborting their kids. His excuse was ludicrous and it has racial prejudice written all over it. I do not think anyone has the right to tell someone how to live their life.

Now, as far as how society or even we ourselves see association with those of a different race goes, I think we, through human nature, for some reason are more comfortable with those who are of our race. And there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone has a certain hesitation when they interact with somebody who's unlike you - whether its race, ethnicity, religion, etc etc. Our minds simply work that way. If you or me, were walking alone down a dark street, we'd feel more comfortable if we ran into someone of our race walking by, rather than someone of another race. It's an innate reaction, a natural tendency for us to search for people who are more and more like us. And I think we have to accept that its natural and move on, labeling it as prejudice doesn't do anyone any good. But obviously, there are always people who go overboard and take things to the next level - and that is where racial prejudice comes in.

This got me thinking and led to this extremely long rant on marriage, from a different, yet related perspective. Make sense of it if you will.

Coming to a more personal level, I don't think it is just a matter of what parents think. For example, in the case of marriage, sure desi (those who originate from the Indian Subcontinent, pronounced day-see) parents would have a heart attack if they knew their child was wanting to be with someone who was of a different race. But I do not think its because their bad people, or racists, or because they hold certain stereotypes, I think its because, again, they feel uncomfortable around people who are not like them. All parents want their children to be with someone who shares the same beliefs, morals, and values as them. Again, an innate tendency.

My opinion is that I need to be with someone who shares my culture, my faith, my beliefs, and my values. I feel that these similarities are necessary to build a common ground, and from that common ground, the art of compromise can begin. But if compromises start coming in the way of these very central beliefs, these values that make us who we are, I think living with that person, sharing a life with them, becomes very difficult. I'm not saying its not doable, obviously it is, and people do it successfully as well, but talking about me personally, I have certain needs as a person. Forget even religion, to me culture and tradition hold so much meaning, and my strong liking for it makes me want to share it with someone. Sure, it would be nice to blend cultures together and see what new traditions you create, but those original traditions hold their own meaning. And why limit it to culture - going beyond it, I need to share the same language, the same types of foods, the rituals, the clothing, the behavior, and eventually faith and religion. And that becomes harder and harder to do with someone who comes from a completely different world than your's. It is not a prejudice, but just a matter of different perspectives, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting things a certain way.

I have heard that love is quite intoxicating, but I don't think there is anything in this world that could convince me to defy my parents. See, personally, I don't think that I even have the capacity to do something against my parents' wishes. It is not because I am weak, or that they suppress me, or compel me to do things that I cannot do, but because I love them too much to even imagine ever hurting them. But that by no means indicates that those who do defy their parents do not love them. Obviously, we make our own choices, and sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, right? But I do always remind myself that what my parents want for me is the best and greatest. If they stop me from doing something, it is with my best interests in mind. Unlike us, parents are not selfish, they really do care. But sometimes, parents want so much for us that their real intentions are lost along the way. They want us to learn from their mistakes and to not commit the same ones in our lives, but what they forget is that they did not learn from their parents' mistakes either, and therefore, we will have to learn from our own mistakes as well. If we really put our minds to it, we can assess both viewpoints. There is no right or wrong answer, both sides have a point, but neither is willing to compromise.

Nothing in this world is absolute. You cannot ensure anything before it happens. That's just not how life works. I know that, and I realize that. But just because life and the future is uncertain, does not mean that your present has to be. Even marriages within the same culture, faith, beliefs and values, don't always work. And I accept that, I mean, what other choice do we have? One can still hope for the best, can't they? If I pick someone with base similarities, someone who I think I can spend the rest of my life with, and then things don't work out, then it wasn't meant to be. But at least I did my part, and beyond that I have no control. As far as arranged marriages go, I think fate plays a large role, as cheesy as this sounds, I do think that in the end up you end with someone you're meant to be with, and that's what matters.

Searching for Words of Comfort

There are good days, there are bad days, there are days where everything is just right, and then there are days where nothing is right. Occasionally, life sneaks upon one of those days where nothing is wrong, but neither is anything right. Today is definitely one of those days. I have so much to do, but no motivation to do it. I have time, but no inspiration, I have books, but no concentration, I have deadlines, but no devotion, I have everything, but with it, too much emotion. All I feel like doing today is to sit in a corner, away from the rest of the world, where I can stare into space and think of absolutely nothing. But it seems like the world doesn't want me to do that either.

I keep telling myself that I'll get through this, through this week, and then everything will be okay, but I somehow can't convince myself of it. Why is it that in moments when you are feeling down, all sorrows somehow return back to haunt you? Some rise from the dead, some come out of hiding, where they were buried deep within our hearts, and new sorrows take birth, all in that one moment. At times like these, I want to cry my heart, to vent, to complain about all the things that life has done and not done, but somehow, I can't even manage to bring about a tear. I think that perhaps shedding a tear or two will make this heavy load a bit lighter, but perhaps I am simply expected to carry it with me.

I had hoped that writing it out here would have helped my overactive mind, but even that was too much to ask. So I go again, to my books, in hopes that motivation will come find me, since I obviously am unable to find it.

The Flower of Hope

Some thoughts that came to mind after a deep conversation. I felt the need to share.

Life is like a blooming flower. It gives us many moments of happiness that fill our hearts with joy, but those moments soon wither away. However, the happiness that they once brought remains for eternity. Perhaps that's why even in moments of sorrow, when there seems no way out, we somehow manage to find hope. We find a reason to live again, remembering the happiness that life can give, remembering what life can be, and forgetting what life is. Our tears dry but the moments of happiness, no matter how brief, are carved in our hearts, waiting to revive the soul whenever necessary.

Here's to undying hope, may it reside in each of our hearts until death do us part.

A Moonlit Night

When the moon strikes its shadow
Upon the dark blanket of night
I look outside the cold window
Searching for you under the moonlight

As the cool wind blows in my hair
For a second, it takes my breath away
I open my eyes to see if you are there
But the light shines back in dismay

I turn away from the shining moon
But the silvery light crawls back
Your beloved memories are strewn
Across the night, in glints of black

The moonlight whispers your thoughts
Into the silence of the dark night
The sparkling stars with grief distraught
Listen to these memories so trite

It retells me stories of those days
And brings tears to my sad eyes
Showing me dreams gone astray
A moment of happiness in disguise

When the moonlight touches you
Do you also remember days gone by
The same sorrow that I go through
Also force you to turn away and cry

The Dark Skies

Waking up in the morning to dark skies and gray clouds only screams one thing out loud: Go back to sleep. Unfortunately, its only the middle of the week (even with the Labor Day holiday!), and we all have to get up and get going whether or not our body wants to.

I've been so lazy and out of it today, that I've walked in the rain, getting drenched, despite the fact that I have an umbrella sitting in my bag. I think its just something about rain that makes you want to laze around and be as inefficient as possible.

Usually, I'm in a very happy mood when its raining, I want to run out and dance in the rain (bollywood style, of course), without stress over school or work, or life in general. But today's, just not a good day. I don't know what it is, I can't put my hand on it. If I figure it out, I'll let you know - but my laptop is about to run out of battery, and I've forgotten my charger at home (fantastic, ain't it?).

*sigh* (lots of "sighing" going on today. wonder why)

A Musical Inspiration

Lately, I had been feeling like I need a new hobby to pass my days, something that will help me relieve stress and to soothe my overtly active mind. My sister has recently started learning how to play the viola, and I recalled how many, many years ago, back in middle school, I had taken upon violin lessons, but somehow lost motivation along the way, and my passion lasted only a year. My dad is really big on music, and we have a keyboard sitting at home, quite useless and inactive since nobody bothers using it. I decided around midnight one day, that I would try my best to learn how to play it. So I opened up an online tutorial, learned the basic notes - CDEFGAB - labeled them on the keyboard, pulled out piano notations of a song I love, and started playing. Of course, its not I can read music or anything, or that I know what staying in tune or keeping up with the beat means, but what the heck, I have a new hobby now. I truly love music, its inspirational, poetic, and soulful. I crave music so many times during the day, and well, even not knowing how to play, yet still trying to play, makes me kind of happy inside. Of course, that feeling soon turns to guilt, when I realize I've spent all day in front of the keyboard and ignored Organic Chemistry, which haunts me day and night.

Reality Check

The last two weeks have truly been a reality check for me. With classes starting, and things gearing up to the usual monotonous daily routine of life, I feel so out of it. Summer vacation seems like it was just a dream that I was living, and now I had finally come out of a deep sleep and jumped into the train heading to reality.

I have been so busy these days, that I feel like I have not done anything that I've wanted to do. Sometimes, life seems fun that way, being so out of it that you don't have time to sit and think, to put things into perspective or to see the bigger picture. It feels like all you're doing is running after time, trying to keep up with it, as it goes faster and faster, leaving you behind.

But then I thought to myself, what if time ran so ahead of me that it had no choice but to stop and wait for me. Too philosophical, I know. But it makes me feel better knowing that I have control over my life and how I allocate my days. I must say that I really needed this long weekend, its a blessing from God. I hope things will settle down now, including my mind, which has been turning pages of the book without being able to read the chapters all the way through.

God, I'm so out of it, I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long.

Resisting Temptation

Yesterday marked the first of the month of Ramadan in the Islamic Calendar. During this month, Muslims fast from sun up to sun down, with no food or water intake during that time. I really consider this month to be one of enlightenment, a way to be closer to God, to practice the art of self-restraint, and to purify the soul. On the whole, I think this one month out of the whole year, puts things into perspective for me, like a smack across the head reminding me to stop taking things for granted, and to start appreciating the little things in life.

Temptation is perhaps our greatest weakness as humans. We are always tempted to do one thing or another, knowing that we shouldn't, but unable to resist. As Oscar Wilde once said:

"I can resist everything except temptation."

I think fasting allows us to resist that temptation, to practice self-control, and perhaps to give our minds a fresh start. But I think what we all fail to understand this self control is not meant for only that one day of fasting, but rather the whole year. The patience, serenity, and purity that you immerse yourself into this month should continue on in the following ones and become a sort of principle in life.

Now, ask me in a year's time, if I have gained even an ounce of patience in my impatient mind, heart, and soul.

Why Blogging?

I would like to first confess that this in fact is my first blog, and I really am clueless as to what I am doing and why I'm doing it. I find myself doing things way after everyone has already done them, whether its facebooking or blogging, or whatever new deal they come up with next. I usually don't like being part of things when the craze is still at its peak. I like waiting until things settle down and then jumping on the train. Perhaps I'm just plain weird, but then who isn't.

Anyways, I think that this is the worst time that I could have picked to start a blog because my classes start tomorrow. And its usually not a great idea to be addicted to something right at the beginning of the semester. Having said that, I will admit that I am loving this!

Inside The Name

I think that all those who come across this blog will wonder why it is called The Morning Star, and therefore perhaps it is my duty to explain the name.

The Morning Star holds several interpretations, all originating from different times and different places. The Morning Star refers to the planet Venus, when it appears in the East before Sunrise. Quite ironically, in Christianity, The Morning Star is another name for Lucifer, the devil, the fallen angel.

However, my interpretation of The Morning Star comes from the Quran, which mentions a star of piercing brightness, a night comer, one that shines brilliantly in the dark skies. This star, better known as The Morning Star, shines with great intensity, illuminating the darkness on Earth. And although the star brings light to many and promises the advent of dawn, it is very short-lived and disappears quickly.

So, through the darkest nights, comes the penetrating light of a glorious star, illuminating the darkness.