I'm scared of letting people come in. I'm scared of making myself an open book. Over the years, I've built very strong walls around my heart, walls that protect and hide inner feelings, my thoughts, my dreams, and my desires. I'm afraid of opening myself up to anyone and everyone. And they say that the higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you'll fall when someone breaks them down. One day, I know someone is going to break down those walls. The thought terrifies me.
Loving someone means giving them a piece of your heart that you'll never get back. I fear giving someone so much of yourself. Because when those you love the most hurt you, the pain and hurt there is the greatest. I'm afraid that the one who promises to wipe my tears will be the one that will make me cry. And I still won't be able to stop loving him. I'm scared of hurting. I'm scared of those disappointments.
I'm afraid of promises. Promises that he'll make. Promises that I will assume to be concrete reality. Promises that will give me hope and expectations. One day, I'm afraid that those expectations will waver. A promise will be broken. And my heart will shatter. And I'll be there all alone, desperately trying to put pieces of my heart back together.
They say that love is the most beautiful thing in this world. But I'm scared. I'm scared of falling in love.
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